Don’t eat carbs. Ever. Not simply the apparent ones like breads and pastas, however the surreptitious ones, too. I’m taking a look at you, carrots and bananas. When you should eat a carb, let or not it’s a blueberry.
Eat fats. Heaps and plenty of fats, particularly within the type of cured animals, fried eggs, butter, and mayonnaise. Gold star for any espresso drink that out-fats a double Large Mac. Your mind wants fats, however provided that you starve it of sugar first.
Don’t eat fats. It’s killing your liver, and God solely is aware of how your arteries are faring.
Sugar is evil. It’s worse than cocaine. We’re all hooked on it due to the sugar foyer that prompted the “low-fat” (learn: high-sugar) fad within the eighties. Or possibly it was the nineties? Someplace round then, anyway. I used to be too strung out on low-fat Skittles to note.
Eat sugar (glucose). Your liver wants it with the intention to cleanse your physique of all of the shit you’ve been placing into it due to these different loopy diets.
Gluten is an inflammatory jerk that was by no means meant for human consumption. It’s the supply of all our issues, together with mind fog, arthritis, poorly becoming pants, and your incapacity to get tickets to a Taylor Swift live performance.
Gluten is a scrumptious and cheap carb that gives the physique and mind helpful vitality. It helps us really feel satiated, each biologically and emotionally.
Dairy is a part of a nutritious diet, and a tasty option to get protein and calcium.
Are you a child cow? No? Then cease consuming milk. It leaches calcium from our bones and it’s making us all snore and fart.
Lentils, chickpeas, and beans present extra simply digested protein and vitamins than meat.
Lentils, chickpeas, and beans are filled with poison that can destroy your digestive system.
Meat is killing you and the planet. Do the rain forest a favor and turn out to be vegan.
However don’t eat soy!!! It’s over-processed and mimics estrogen, so that you’ll be a hormonal mess.
Decide the place your ancestors are from. Eat what they ate, until it’s any of the meals listed above.
Peanuts are out to destroy the world. They’re filled with mould. Nobody needs them round, besides Hershey’s.
Eat natural, until the meals got here from greater than 100 miles away. Then eat native. Until it’s all potatoes and carrots. Then drink water, however provided that it’s filtered and dechlorinated and has been left standing in a single day.
You could as nicely keep away from yeast, corn, eggs, all nightshades, and any FODMAP meals.
Espresso appears to be O.Okay., so long as it’s fair-trade and also you don’t put any bizarre shit in it.
Breakfast is a very powerful meal of the day.
Solely eat inside an eight-hour window and positively not proper whenever you get up or inside 4 hours of bedtime. Your physique has simply been conditioned to be hungry outdoors of these hours. You need to present that bitch who’s boss.
A lightweight snack earlier than bedtime can assist you sleep, as it’s going to suppress an adrenaline surge in your mind at three within the morning.
Drink inexperienced smoothies.
Greens have been meant to be chewed.
Drink lemon water.
Lemon water will disintegrate your tooth enamel.
Cease speaking about meals and your physique. It’s the least fascinating factor about you! It’s boring and of no curiosity to anybody.
I believe that virtually covers it. Now, for those who’ll excuse me, it’s time for lunch. ♦